


Except For That One Thing

by noname77



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Alcohol, F/F, Sex, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-15 20:12:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2241894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noname77/pseuds/noname77
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An Intern AU, inspired by adreamaloud's Portions for Foxes. This time it's flipped and Piper is the boss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The elevator doors opened onto a perfectly polished marble floor. A pair of black heels stepped out, their click echoing through the hall. Otherwise, the floor was quiet with the soft rattle and hum of computers the only sound.

Toned legs approached the receptionist’s desk, usually the only other person at work this at this hour.

“Hi Lorraine, how’s Tommy doing today?”

“Oh honey, thanks for asking. He’s doing better. Doctor said his back would be better in a week or two. I told him to slow down, but he never listens to me,” Lorraine sighed. “Oh by the way, Rachel wants to meet with you before your 8:30. She called in just a few minutes ago. 

“Hmmm, wonder what it is now? Thanks, Lorraine. I’ll wait for her in my office.”

At twenty five, Piper Chapman hardly looked old enough to occupy an office. Her blond hair fell just below her shoulders and her tan skin made her blue eyes pop. She was usually mistaken for a college student and was used to still getting carded at bars.

To compensate, she typically came to work looking as if she had stepped out of a J. Crew catalog. Today was no different. She wore a suit in heather gray, it’s jacket had three quarter sleeves showing off a stack of gold bracelets. Underneath sat a thin cream silk blouse, buttoned to the top. A picture of perfection.

The office wasn’t fancy, it’s wasn’t big and it wasn’t a corner, but it was hers and she had earned it. Piper’s curved desk sat in front of a window that overlooked another office building in midtown Manhattan. If she craned her neck just a bit, she could make out a sliver of the Hudson River from her 35th floor perch.

Her desk was as neat as her appearance. A Macbook Pro sat open on the desk with notepads neatly stacked to its right. A coffee cup held several of the same black pen and number two pencils. A few personal touches filled out the space. A few photos of friends and family sat on a shelf above her computer and her framed Smith diploma hung on the wall next to the door. 

She finished her coffee as she read through her emails. Three urgent, but only one of them truly was. An upcoming interview with a former executive who was fired for sexually assaulting his children's nanny. He wanted to back out of the interview at the urging of his wife, but Piper knew his PR firm would never let that happen. He had an image to rebuild and it started with an interview on a major network news show. Piper was producing for Taylor Roberts, a rising star at the network and certainly the next co-host of the morning show.

At 8:20 a.m. Piper heard the familiar voice of Rachel, her boss coming down the hall, a cell phone perpetually attached to her ear or hand.

“I’m about to walk into Chapman’s office right now, Frank, and I’m gearing up for a protest.”

*******

“Listen Chapman, you’re in no position to argue with me. The team’s getting four interns and I need you to take one. I am your boss, remember? I do get to tell you what to do. Sometimes”

Piper spun around in her chair to face her boss, a stack of papers flying undone across her otherwise neat desk. “Rachel. You know how I feel about interns. Remember that one kid with the velcro sneakers? He was worse than any babysitting job I ever had growing up. Do you know his mother actually called me to tell me to take it easy on him? His mother! And don’t get me started on the guy last year.”

“Oh yea. Him. I’m still sorry about that one.” Rachel perched on the end of Piper’s desk. “I know it’s glorified babysitting, but with Red out on leave you’re the only person left I can trust.” She gave her the best puppy-dog eyes she could muster. “I’m giving Marco, Polly and Larry interns too. It’s not just you. And think, at least you can have someone fetch your coffee a few times a week.”

Piper reached around Rachel and pulled a blue post-it note from her stack. Scribbling a short message, she shoved it at Rachel with a pen. “Here, sign this and we have a deal.”

Rachel chuckled at the message on the post-it. “No way, Chapman.”

“Rachel, it’s just a simple ‘I Owe You.’ You told me last year I’d get pass on interns this summer. I’m slammed with this Nanny story and if you’re really making me do this, I’m getting something out of it.”

Rachel looked down at Piper, determination set in her jaw. Rachel knew it was good trade and knew Piper was was hardly the type to even need an IOU. “Deal, but don’t make me regret this, Piper. Interns start tomorrow morning. I’ll even give you first dibs.”

“Good doing business with you, boss. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got some work to do.

*******

“Guess what?” asked Piper, closing her office door. Her best friend, Polly, on the other end of the phone.

“Uhhh, Larry’s still following you around like a little puppy dog?”

“Well, yes, but not why I called. Where are you anyway? It’s 10 o’clock and your office is still empty.” Piper commented, pacing around her office.

“Breakfast with my mom. She was in the city for a doctor’s appointment. I’m heading in now. So, what’s up?”

“Rachel’s making me take an intern this year.” Piper sighed.

“Oh your poor thing.” Even through the phone, Piper could sense her best friend’s sarcasm. “Welcome to my life, Pipes. I’ll be right there with you. No way I’m getting lucky two years in a row.”

Last year Polly’s intern, Meg, was actually the star of the bunch. Fresh off her sophomore year at Yale, Meg was a natural. Hardworking and quick witted, she was sure to go onto a fantastic career as whatever she wanted By the end of summer, Polly practically dialed it in, having Meg do almost everything asked of her.  

Piper was stuck with Jake, arrogant frat boy and waste of space. He had the hardest time even showing up to work on time and when he did, he found a way to leave early. The most work she squeezed out of him all summer was occasional background research for a segment she was producing.

“Swing by when you get in and you can help me figure out how I get a Meg this year. Rachel says I can have first dibs.”

“A) Not fair. B) There’s only one Meg and she’ll probably be our boss in a few years. Or worse, we’ll have to produce a segment on some amazing discovery she made as a junior in college”

Piper chuckled, knowing the truth in that statement.

“See ya in a bit, I’m getting on the subway now.”

*******

“Here’s my criteria. Are they smart? Are they adaptive? And could you have a beer with them?” Polly told Piper that in her four years of managing interns, it had never failed her once.

“That’s it?” Piper answered. It seemed incredibly simple. Too simple.

“That’s it. Now, let’s see where your idiot last year fell short. Was he smart?” Polly asked with a smirk. “And remember, it’s not what you know now, it’s what you would have known by looking at his resume and meeting him for five minutes.”

“I would have thought he was smart. Went to Columbia, high GPA, the usual.”

“Ok, next question then. Was he adaptive? Could he adjust to the situation and do what was needed?”

“Ugh!” Piper spat. “I would have thought so based on meeting him for a few minutes. He played varsity lacrosse, member of a few clubs, good grades across the board, not just in one subject area. He seemed like a well-rounded guy to me. Clearly I was wrong, but at the time, he seemed fine.”

“Last question then: would you get a beer with him after work? Could you see yourself spending an hour shooting the shit with the guy?” Polly knew Piper’s propensity to give people the benefit of the doubt and see the good in everyone. She was anticipating her answer.

“Yea, I guess so. I would have thought his success in college would indicate his success here.”

Polly inclined her head toward Piper. “Come on. What did you tell me about him after your first meeting?”

“That was a year ago, Polly. God, how do you remember everything anyone says or does? It’s really annoying. You know that, right?”

Polly rolled her eyes “Besides the point, Piper. You said he spent the whole time talking about how great he was at lacrosse without once mentioning his teammates. You thought that was pretty strange considering it’s a team sport. Remember?”

“Fuck, I totally forgot that.” She sighed, remembering how annoyed she was that he never once managed to acknowledge anyone that might have had a hand in his success.  

“If you were being real that day, there’s no way you would have got a beer with that guy.” She patted Piper’s arm. “He was total douche.”

“Ok, I can do this. Smart, adaptive, beer.” Piper parroted back to Polly.

*******

The next morning Piper and her colleagues filed into large meeting space to interview the interns assigned to the news division. The had 10 minutes with each of the four candidates before coming together to decide who got got who. Piper was counting on first choice working to her advantage. 

As she took a seat at an empty table, Piper recalled the advice Polly gave her in selecting the best intern. _Smart, adaptive, beer. Smart, adaptive, beer._

*******

“Zack, you won’t be doing much investigative reporting as an intern here. As much as I’d love to look into the Abercrombie and Fitch’s use of nursing home patients as a labor force, it’s not the kind of story I produce. It won’t get made her, despite your dedication to the project.” Piper tried to let him down gently, despite his many tries as dissuading her from her opinion.

_Smart: check. Beer: check. Adaptive: no way._

*******

“Hi Becca, I’m Piper. I’d love to hear how you ended up in New York after growing up in London.”

“My parents sent me to college in America. I’d rather not be here.”

“Ok, well then…”  

_Smart: check. Adaptive: unknown. Beer: never._

*******

“I grew up in the Bronx and up until the age of 12 I was sure I was going to play shortstop for the Yankees. Then everyone around me kept getting better and I was just an ok player. So, I poured myself into my school work instead. It’s not been easy, a kid from the Bronx making the jump to college and internships like this, but I’ve been producing videos of my friends and neighborhood since I was 16 and I just love telling people’s stories. I think I can learn a lot here. From you, from this team.”

Piper sat up, clearly impressed by the young man in front of her. “Louie, the samples you sent over were great. You’ve got a good eye for how to craft a story. I think we can teach you how to transfer that to a segment here.”

Louie beamed at Piper. “That’s awesome.”

Piper smiled back, leaned in and whispered. “And, I love the Yankees and planned on playing first base for them my entire childhood.”

_Smart: check. Adaptive: check. Beer: hell yes._

*******

“NYU! I almost went to school there. I loved the Village so much. When I was 14 I took the train into the city with my friends and we found a guy at some bodega who would sell us these Indian cigarettes. We walked around NYU’s campus smoking them. Or choking on them, more like it.”

A tall woman with long black hair sat across from Piper at the table. Glasses with thick walls, a boxy shape and slightly rounded edges covered green eyes set in a high cheekboned face. A small tattoo peeked out from under the cuff of her vintage navy blue shirtwaist dress.

“So, what stopped you from going there?”

Piper smiled wistfully. “Smith stopped me. I was sold the minute I stepped onto campus. I think I’d spent so much time in New York as a kid, that I was excited to get away. At least a little further away from my parents in Westchester.” Piper laughed and glanced down at the resume sitting in front of her.

“What about you, Alex. What took you to NYU?”

“Oh, the usual. New York just seemed like the right place for me.” A sardonic smile appeared on Alex’s face. “And NYU actually let me in.”

Piper picked up Alex’s resume and peered over the top of the paper. “Huh. A 3.8 GPA, looks like they made a good call,” Piper teased. She placed the paper back on the table.

Alex, in high school wasn’t the best student and certainly wasn’t pulling a 3.8 GPA. She never expected to get into NYU, but applied to the journalism program and was surprised to be accepted. She had been writing for her high school newspaper since her junior year and it was really the only place she shined. Mostly music and movie reviews, though her tastes a little more eclectic than her classmates.

“I guess I’m doing ok. Things fell into place a little better for me in college than they did when I was younger.”

“Smith was the same for me in a lot of ways. I figured a few things out.”

Alex’s eye brows shot up. “I guess a lot of girls figure things out at Smith...Or so I’ve heard.”

 _Is she flirting with me?_ Piper produced a knowing grin. “Ha. Ha. That’s not exactly what I meant.”

“Meant? I just assumed at such a great school, you had a transformative experience.” Alex produced her own knowing grin. “But I think I know what you mean. I’ve met a few Smith girls.”

 _Well, I didn’t see the interview going in this direction._ Piper cocked her head to the side. “Oh. How well did you know them?” _Wait, what the hell was that, Chapman?_

The sound of a chair screeching against the floor made them realize the room was clearing out, all the other candidates and staff having wrapped up a few minutes ago. Piper was due in the conference room to hash out who would be paired with whom.

Alex recognized her chance and took it. “Well, I think I’m supposed to go wait outside with everyone else or something.” Alex shrugged and stood up and reached for Piper’s hand.

Piper took Alex’s hand and jolt of familiarity passed through her. This didn’t feel like the first time she’d met Alex. They didn’t live in the same neighborhood. They probably didn’t frequent the same restaurant and bars. Piper couldn’t quite shake something about the raven haired woman, certain that they’ve met or crossed paths before.

“But I’m going to need my hand to do that.” Alex smiled at Piper as the blond woman’s cheeks reddened with embarrassment.

Piper dropped Alex’s hand and dipped her head. “I”m sorry, it’s just you seem really familiar to me and I can’t quite place you. Anyway, I’m sure it will come to me at some point. It was really nice to meet you Alex,” the blond smiled.

“You too. Hopefully we’ll be seeing more of each other.” Alex stepped around the small table and moved past Piper heading for the door.

“Oh, Alex, one more thing.” Piper took a few steps closer and in a whisper asked “Do you drink beer?”

Alex lowered her glasses and peered over the frames. “Are you really allowed to ask us that, Piper?”

Piper opened her mouth to answer. “I….I...uh…”

Alex lowered her voice to match Piper’s whisper and a smirk appeared on her face. “The answer is yes. And bourbon and wine and just about anything, really.” With a wink and grin, she turned and walked away leaving Piper, mouth still agape, staring after her.

Piper dropped back into the chair she was sitting in.

_Smart: very. Adaptive: clearly. Beer: Sure, or bourbon and wine and just about anything, really._

 


	2. Chapter 2

Piper joined Marco, Polly and Larry already in fierce debate about which intern they’d each get. Piper had first choice, followed by Marco, Larry and Polly.

“I am totally fucked, guys.” Polly banged her head on the table three times for dramatic effect.

“I know I lucked out last year, but what the hell did I do to Rachel to end up stuck with Becca?”

Larry chimed in. “Who said you’re getting Becca, Polly?”

“Are you taking her?” Polly perked up.

“Uhhhh, no. I’m a little scared of her,” Larry added, sheepishly.

“Of course you are Larry.” With a roll of her eyes, Polly turned to Piper. “How’d it go with the plan? Did you do the thing?”

Piper was far away, lost in thought looking toward the door, where just outside the intern candidates waited in anticipation.

“Piper? Earth to Piper!”

Piper’s attention snapped back to the conversation. “Sorry, what?”

“I said did you ‘smart, adaptive, beer’ them? By my count you can only have two options.”

“Yea, yea, of course. I don’t know who I’m picking, though.”

Piper’s mind wandered back to her conversation with Alex. She felt disarmed by Alex and Piper was completely freaked out that the younger woman had such an effect on her. It wasn’t often that someone left Piper stammering to get her words out.

“I liked Louie.”

“YES! Thank you, Chapman! That hot piece is mine.” Marco leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. He flashed a perfect smile.

Marco Giannetta, 27, was literally, tall, dark and handsome. And he knew it. Marco never passed up an opportunity to brag about his latest conquest, of which there were many. Just last week he bragged about hooking up with the receptionist from advertising. He was a self-proclaimed lothario and it surprised no one he had intentions of hooking up with the female interns.

“You are disgusting, Marco. You know that, right?” Polly reached to her right and slapped Marco on the bicep. “Wait, which one?”

“The hottie with the black hair and glasses. Who else? I mean what’s her name’s accent is cute and all, but she’s not really my type. Alex, on the other hand, is all kinds of bad girl sexy.”

Piper felt an unexpected sting hearing Marco talk about Alex like a piece of meat. But what really surprised Piper, if she was being honest with herself, was the jealousy she felt at the possibility that Alex would spend all semester working for Marco. Ald the possibility that she might be interested in him in return.

Not wanting to give anything away, Piper made a face. “Ew, Marco. You are such a pig.”

_I might regret this..._

“And besides, I wasn’t done. I like Louie, but I like Alex too. This is really supposed to be about matching up their interests with ours, right?. And I think Alex and I would work well together. So, I pick her.”

_Jesus, what am I getting myself into?_

***

Piper followed her colleagues out to the waiting room where the intern candidates were waiting. Marco saved Polly by choosing Becca over Louie or Zack. He was more interested in sleeping with an intern than anything else and made the only choice Piper had left him with. Larry passed on Louie for Zack having lost a job at Abercrombie and Fitch in high school when he refused to show the required amount of skin to work there. Zack’s single minded pursuit of the company’s suspect manufacturing actually appealed to Larry. Polly could not fathom how she got lucky as to land Louie, but she wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Looks like it’s you and me, Alex.” Piper smiled as Alex stood up from her seat.

“Fantastic! I figured I blew it with my smart ass Smith comments. I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m just a...” Alex’s voice trailed off.

The blond shook her head. “You have more spunk than anyone else I’ve ever interviewed, that’s for sure. But I have to say, most interviewees don’t imply I spent my college days exploring any sapphic desires I might have had.” Piper back peddled a few steps, still facing Alex. “See you tomorrow morning at 9 in my office. Don’t be late,” and with that turned away and walked back into the office.

_Your turn to be speechless, Alex._

***

Alex stepped into an empty elevator and leaned against the back wall. “Fuuuuck.”

A wave of relief passed through her. She was certain after her smart ass Smith comments there was no way Piper was going to choose her. She had blew it and she was going to get stuck working for that perv Marco or boring Larry. Polly seemed nice enough, but from the moment Alex laid eyes on Piper, she felt a strong pull toward the blonde. And the fact that Piper played right along with her innuendo and sarcasm only made her more interesting to Alex.

_Wow, she picked me..._

The elevator doors opened onto a busy lobby and Alex walked out of the nearest revolving door into the hustle and bustle of midtown. She pulled her headphones out of her bag and slipped the buds in her ears. Heading home she smiled to herself in anticipation of the next time she’d see Piper. Tomorrow morning could not come soon enough.

***

Piper awoke the next morning to the sound of her phone alarm buzzing from her night stand. A tan arm emerged from the the blankets to silence it. It had been a sleepless night, full of tossing and turning and she wanted nothing more than to stay in bed and catch a few more precious minutes of sleep. The sun was rising and a gentle pink light filled Piper’s bedroom. She opened her eyes and flipped on the TV to provide some background noise that would hopefully keep her from falling back asleep.

It seemed like a great idea to crack open a bottle of wine last night. Piper had hoped to take the edge off that was Alex Vause. By the second glass she promised herself she’d get off to a good start for Alex’s first day...shed the innuendo and flirtation that had filled their interactions the day before. By the third glass she was Googling Alex, reading her high school newspaper music reviews. By the fourth glass she was stalking Alex on social media to see what was available for public view.

When Piper’s head hit her pillow, she hoped she’d drift off to sleep immediately. Instead she found herself wondering about Alex beyond the small glimpses she could find online. It appeared she spent her entire four years of high school listening to music that was released at least 10 years prior based on her reviews. Piper imagined what life in high school was like for a girl who would rather listen to Radiohead than Rihanna. Who reviewed documentaries over rom-coms. Piper decided Alex was someone her high school self would have been intimidated by, but very curious about.

There were a few pictures scattered about Twitter. A roof top BBQ in Brooklyn, drinks with friends in dingy bars in the East Village and one particular shot that revealed the tattoo Piper saw peeking out of Alex’s sleeve wasn’t the only one on her body. That picture alone kept Piper up past 1 a.m. wondering how many other tattoos Alex might have hidden. With tattoos and bare skin on her mind, she drifted off into a restless sleep.

***

Piper managed to make it into work only a few minutes later than usual. She passed by Lorraine’s desk, but it the older woman wasn’t there. The office was still quiet and Piper was glad she had time to wake up a bit before Alex arrived. She should probably figure out some projects Alex could jump in on. Everyone else had known for a few weeks they were getting an intern, but since it was sprung on Piper just two days ago, she’d not had time to plan.

Piper grasped the handle of her office door and pushed it open.

“Whaa…fuuu...Alex, you startled me.”

Alex shot up out of her chair. “Shit, I’m so sorry.”

“What are you doing here so early?”

“What's the saying? 'If you're early, you're on time. If you're on time, you’re late.'" Alex glanced down at her phone. "I guess 45 minutes is a bit early. Sorry, I’m sure you want to get settled and ready for the day. I can wait outside."

"Don't be silly. You're here, let's get to work. Or even better, let's get coffee. I really need coffee."

“Oh, rough night?” Alex said in a tone that carried the slighted suggestion of something more.

Piper felt a blush creeping up her cheeks and a flutter in her gut. She turned away to hide it. “Something like that.”

_Hold it together, Piper. Hold it together. Act like you did not spend the evening internet stalking your intern._

Alex noticed the blush on Piper’s cheeks and wanted to kick herself for once again managing to make her new boss uncomfortable by saying the wrong thing. Alex knew the effect she could have on women. She wasn’t innocent of her charms or her beauty. She knew every trick in the book, every inflection in voice and glance over the top of her glasses to make women desire for her. She’d used it to her advantage more times than she’d like to admit, but she had really hoped to keep things on the up and up with Piper. This internship was important to her and Piper seemed like a good person who deserved better from Alex.

"I guess I’d a terrible intern if I didn't learn how you like your coffee." Another deft change of subject.

"Cold-brewed until at least October. So you go grab it and I'll get settled." Piper turned to her computer.

"Oh. Yea. Back in a few."

"Alex, get back here. I'm kidding. You won't be fetching my coffee. Let's go together. My treat. I'll show you around this place."

***

“Coffee’s not bad here. The good stuff, if you are a coffee snob, is two blocks away, but this does the trick most days,” Piper gestured at the full coffee bar just outside the cafeteria.

“Medium iced coffee for me and…” Piper gestured to Alex.

“Double espresso.”

Piper eyed Alex suspiciously. “Seriously?”

Alex arched her eyebrow in reply.

“I shouldn’t be surprised. It fits you,” Piper replied with a smirk. “Anyway, over here is the cafeteria.”

Before Alex was a humongous room with every possible thing anyone could want to eat: salad bar, grill, pizza, sushi, pasta, sandwiches and a juice bar. That’s just what Alex could make out on a quick scan of the room.

“Is the idea we never leave the office?” Alex questioned.

“Yup. You can have your dry cleaning done downstairs. The shoe shine guy comes by once a day on each floor. You could even sleep in your office and shower in the gym locker room on the 12th floor.”

“Shit, that’s grim, Piper.” Alex hoped she’d not signed up for an 80 hour a week internship.

“Tell me about it. Most of us manage to avoid that. Most nights.” Piper wished she could say she’d never pulled an all-nighter and slept in her office, but she had. As a matter of fact, just two weeks ago it seemed a lot easier to stay at the office than head home at 2 a.m. only to be back at 7 a.m. for an early call time.

“So should I expect a few all-nighters and office showers in my future?” Alex asked jokingly.

A sudden image of Alex in the locker room shower flooded Piper's mind. _If this is day one, I'm royally fucked._

***

“Before we head back upstairs, I’ll show you one last thing. This is the fun part.” Piper pulled out her keycard and swiped it to open a set of sturdy metal double doors. “These are some of our sets. This one’s for the nightly news, which is why it’s so quiet right now. We film the morning show downstairs. Our sets are one floor up from here.”

Alex stood in awe of the set before her. She’d seen this set on her TV night after night and never imagined she’d be standing here, feet away from where some of the most respected news anchors in the industry had sat.

“Wow, Piper, this is amazing.” Piper could tell Alex was being genuine. Wided-eyed she was taking it all in.

“Go ahead, have a seat up there. See how it feels.”

“Are you serious? I won’t get in trouble or anything? You won’t get in trouble?” Alex asked, even more wide-eyed.

“No, it’s fine. Go on, get up there. I’ll even take a picture

Alex took a seat in the lead anchor’s chair and placed her hands on the desk as if to see if it was all real.

"Did you ever think about a career in front of the camera?" Alex asked.

"No, but maybe you should. You look great up there."

"You think so? I don't think I'm chipper, enough, you know? No one would want to watch me."

Piper regarded the younger woman sitting in the anchor's chair. Chipper wasn't at the top of the list of words to use to describe Alex, that was true. But, buried beneath the sarcasm and tough girl exterior, Piper suspected there was a gentle soul that wasn't often tapped to make an appearance.

With a gentle smile Piper replied. "I would." She let that statement hang in the air for a moment. The ease at which the words tumbled out of her mouth surprised her a bit.

"So, shall we get to work? We have a segment to produce."

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to hear your feedback. I'm going to try to write as fast as I can, but I'm out of practice and life is pretty busy. Hoping for a chapter a week, but it might be more like every two weeks. Thanks for reading.


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